..tired of being what you want me to be..

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 22:32:29 GMT

i'm scared to death that i am in way over my head and that i am going to fail miserably.

someone, anyone.. help this ache in the pit of my stomach go away! i don't want to fail. i don't want to be that person who couldn't make it and has ruined their credit all because of a stupid decision.

how in the hell do people make it in the real world? how do people have a house payment, car payment, a family, and yet still manage to save money? it's ridiculously hard for me to believe that such a thing can happen.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:32:59 GMT

i'm feeling really strange.

someone that i don't even know died.. and yet it feels like i have known them my whole life. a person who is.. infamous to say the least. RIP DM.

this will mean nothing to anyone who reads it.. but means something to me.

Letting it all out!

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 19:26:02 GMT

A lot has happened since my last entry. Well - maybe not a lot but what has happened has been pretty big!

I have been tossing around the idea of buying a house all year. I have been looking online ever since January.. checking out the houses, the prices, the options - just everything that goes along with the whole home buying process. I got in touch with a realtor probably in May or June and started going into some of the house that I liked - and that were in the price range that I thought I could afford! The first house that I looked at - I immediately fell in love with. It was unique - and if I wouldn't have had family around to help me then I would have put an offer in on it right away! Luckily - I had family who kept me grounded and made sure that I went through the process of making sure that I put my initial reaction aside and looked into every tiny detail. I can't tell you how many houses I looked at.. and how many times I walked in and was just overwhelmed by the whole appearance of the house. You can NOT just look at the appearance of the home. You are not buying everything in the house. You are buying the house empty - and you have to buy all the things that go into it! It is NOT easy to think that way.. at least it wasn't for me! I would walk in and say, "I like this.. I like that".. but all of it was the decor'. It took me a while to see that I wasn't looking at the house.. I was looking at the way it was decorated.

I finally got past all of that. I got close to putting an offer in on a house in Wilkinson - and I sat down one night and looked at all the aspects of owning a home. The mortgage, the insurance, the taxes, the extra drive, the groceries, the RISK, etc. I became very overwhelmed - and I backed out. I decided to slow it down - look at other options and just think of everything! I put my house hunting on hold for quite a few months. I decided that maybe my best option was to rent. From the beginning I did NOT want to rent. Renting to me was like throwing money away. It doesn't go towards something that you are going to own - plus you pay more in rent then you would if you just bought something. But I made myself look into the option. I toured the apartments at Greenfield Crossing. It was more in rent then I felt comfortable with - plus it didn't cut you a break with utilities or anything like that. It just didn't seem like an option for me. With my car payment, my car insurance, and my newly acquired Blackberry cell phone bill - it was starting to look impossible for me to do anything until I paid off my car or downgraded. I started looking for cheaper apartments. I found an apartment that was 2 bedrooms, water paid, close to work - and it was only $525 a month. I called about it and set up an appointment to go look at it and also to look at a house in Shirley for $495 a month. When I was showing my grandma a picture of the house in Shirley - she told me that it was also for sale at a cheap price! I called a friend of mine who is a realtor and she called and got the key to show me the house!

The next day my grandma and my cousin joined my realtor and I on the trip to Shirley to see the home. The yard was a little bit bigger then I had expected! The house was just the right size. 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, an eat in kitchen, and a living room. Perfect for me! The seller had just had new windows put in, a new water heater, a nice wood deck, and the kitchen was completely redone. Plus, all of the appliances stayed and there was a homeowners warranty that covers all of the appliances! The asking price was $49,900 - which was about $30,000 less then all of the other houses that I had looked at! Everything just seemed to fall into place. I had my dad come look at it - because he does construction and I wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to buy something that was gonna fall apart on me! He came - said it was a solid, nice home. Over the next few days - I was talking with my mortgage guy, having my realtor get the paperwork in order, and discussing how much to offer. I had discussed making an offer of $50,000 to get a lower interest level - but eventually decided against that because my mortgage guy said that it wouldn't make that big of a difference in my monthly payment. I made the decision to offer $43,000, signed the offer, wrote out my earnest money check, and thought that my next step would be a counter offer - boy, was I wrong!

About 2 hours later - I was sitting at Denny's with my grandpa when my realtor called and said, "congratulations - you're one step closer to being a home owner. They accepted your offer!" I was in shock. I did NOT expect everything to happen so quickly.. but it did.. and I just had to run with it! The next couple of weeks were clouded with work, scheduling inspections, and scrambling to start buying all the stuff that I needed for the house! All that I had at the time was a bed and dishes. Nothing more. It was a very stressful period.. which I'm sure it is for anyone who is buying a house. I got a good deal - price wise - on the inspection. Usually the starting cost is about $350 - but my dad knew someone who was willing to do it for $175. The price sounded good to me so I went for it. I thought that he was going to do the house inspection plus the termite inspection - but it turned out that he waited until the last minute to do the house inspection and he couldn't do the termite inspection. I'm not going to go into details - but the whole experience with him wasn't the greatest. He ended up not looking into all the things that he should have - we found a roof leak, a problem under the house, and something that he said was wrong ended up not having a problem at all. I got a good price - for a bad inspection. I had to rush to get a termite inspection - and the guy who did the termite inspection for me is the one who found the problem under the house. I had to have my realtor get an extension of time so that I could have the problem looked into. The next day - I was back at the house with my dad, grandma, grandpa, and realtor and they were looking everything over. My dad found the roof leak, he crawled under the house and decided that the problem under the house was minor and that he could fix it, and he also decided that he could stop the roof leak and put new shingles on the house for about $600. We wrote back to the seller asking for the money to fix the roof problem - which they accepted - and that was pretty much the end of it all. It's all done until I sign the papers at closing - and take possession!

I'm still stressed. Extremely stressed. I haven't had to shell out this kind of money before. I've always had money to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Now I am starting to see what it is like to have bills! I have been extremely blessed - to have a wonderful, supportive family, a steady and well paying job, and friends that are willing to help me in any way that they can! I have no idea what I would do without my family and friends - they have all pitched in an given/bought me things that I need for my home.

I do have some advice for anyone who is thinking about buying their first home. SAVE! Start saving as soon as you get a job. Even if you only put back $20 a pay - that will add up! PLAN! Look at the whole picture! Don't look at what you CAN spend. Look at what you feel COMFORTABLE spending! You need to remember that things can go wrong - and when they go wrong it's your problem! SPEND THE MONEY FOR A GOOD INSPECTION! Yes - $350 is a lot but it is worth it! You do NOT wanna go through what I went through with the inspector. ASK FOR THE SELLER TO PAY THE CLOSING COSTS! If they pay the closing costs - then that is anywhere from $1300 - $2500 that doesn't have to come out of your pocket!

There is so much to look at when you are buying your first home. Look at the whole picture! Yes, it's fun - but you have to make sure that you can handle it! There are times that I feel like I am in over my head - and who knows.. maybe I am! But I will have the self discipline to pay my bills before I go out and spend money on something that I don't HAVE TO HAVE! Be responsible - and good luck in your pursuit of a new home!

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:27:44 GMT

i'd show a smile - but i'm too weak! i'd share with you - could i only speak.. just how much this hurts me!

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 23:03:50 GMT

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

yeah, that's all.

Thu, 29 May 2008 01:50:02 GMT

regardless of anything, i will still write in here whatever i want. if you don't like it, TOUGH SHIT! if you don't want to hear what i have to say, then don't read it. no one is holding a gun to your head making you read this. i'm sorry, but this is and always will be my place to vent. take it or leave it. love me or hate me. i'mma do me!

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 02:10:37 GMT

i'm just a little bit tired of life.
a little bit bored with everything.
and a huge bit of pissed the fuck off!

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 05:14:36 GMT

I dunno how to say that I'm NOT sorry?!

helloooooo livejournal!

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 14:22:21 GMT

so me and nicole are both in the computer lab.. like old times.. updating the good ol' livejournal!

but i dont really have much to say.. buttt.. i am very sorry that nicole got a 0 on her little descriptive essay! that really sucks..

but that is all! goodbye!

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 19:17:22 GMT

well well well..

looks like the school is stupid and only blocked myspace.. what morons! now i can get on here and update my livejournal and all my wonderful friends can leave me comments on here..

an in case you DIDNT already know.. i also started writing in my diaryland again.. and guess what??

THE STUPID SCHOOL DOSENT HAVE THAT BLOCKED EITHER!

we are beatin the system bitches!

welllllll.. hit it up on herrre.. dawg?!

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 21:26:28 GMT

well hey there! i finally got my new computer! and i must say that it is amazing!

it's not a dell.. we decided to get an HP instead! but i still like this.. and my grandpa is getting me a dell laptop here in a month or so! awesome awesome..

umm.. i dont know if i am gonna be at school tomorrow or not.. cuz i have the stomach flu! i am startin to feel better.. and hopefully i feel even better by tomorrow cuz i dont wanna miss government! but who knows..

but yah.. i am gonna download AIM.. cuz i need it bad! lol.. later!

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 01:32:06 GMT

i havent wrote in here in forever! school is goin good.. i guess! been hangin out with a lotta people lately! had fun this weekedn with jaron, cassy, ashley, brooke, and cara! it was awesome!

but my computer at home fucked up and so now i dont have a computer! so i am at the library! but i have good news..

DUDE! I'M GETTIN A DELL!

haha.. i gotta go. i am gettin gas cuz it is rumored that prices are going up to like 4 dollars a gallon! and if that happens.. i'm ridin the fuckin bus! later guys!

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 07:36:49 GMT

here it is.. 2:30 in the morning.. and i cant fuckin sleep! of course.. the night before school! oh well.. i dont care!

but i am extremly bored.. and i will be tomorrow. but i will have my cell phone on me.. so all of yall better text me or something! lol..

i am gonna go lay back down.. maybe watch a movie.. later guys!

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 08:54:28 GMT

today and tonight was amazing!

i slept till about noon. then i got up took a shower and got dressed.. went to shonee's to show her my senior pics. then we decided to go job hunting.. so we went to big lots.. and that was all in greenfield. we were driving around and found a fuckin purple van for only $850! yah.. thats right! oh.. did i mention it only has 1 rim?! haha.. its amazing.. perfect for NICOLE! who by the way, needs to buy it.. no joke! so i took a pic of it.. and then we went to show nicole who was at work! we showed her.. then went to the mall to look for more jobs! we got apps. at a book store, dicks sporting goods, and i think that was it. ohh.. and we are gonna apply for the hospital online. so we went back to burger king after that.. talked to nicole. where i filled out an application.. and i will most likely get the job. i dont wanna work at fast food.. but i guess that i will have to deal with it. cuz i want a job.. and a MUSTANG! lol! we left there.. and went to kroger and got food for my family.. and cheese cake. then went to wal mart and saw andy, kathy, and wes. talked to them.. looked for the greenday cd.. they were sold out! so took shonee home.. ate some cheesecake and went home myself!

got home.. ate.. was talkin to kayla.. we decided to hang out! so went and picked her up.. and headed back to burger king.. got some more free cheesecake.. and diet coke. then we talked for a while.. then nicole left to hang out with someone. so me and kayla went to chris schutts ((sp?)) house to chill. ended up stayin there for a good 2 and a half maybe 3 hours! but it was fun.. chris is a pretty cool guy! we left there.. went to town.. took something that didnt belong to us.. ((stole is such a strong word))! then we went.. umm.. lets call it house shopping! but the houses we wanted werent for sale.. so we made them be for sale! ((HELL YAH WE DID!)) it was such an adrenaline rush... you have no idea!

but i am actually getting tired.. i order my senior pics tomorrow! so i am outta hither! later guys!

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 06:01:17 GMT

I'M BACK! and i would like to thank Crystal and Kay Rae for their comment.. and NicoLe for all 45 of her commentS! score! haha!

but we went cave exploring! which was freakin awesome! cuz i love caves.. i have loved them my whole life! and since this is my senior year ((YAY)) my grandpa decided to suprise me with caves! hell yah! it was insanly awesome! but yah.. on to the good stuff!

so i have been talking with this girl named katie.. who i have known since the 3rd grade! i really like her a lot.. and that scares me! i have been single for a long time cuz the last 2 people that i got really close to, died! and trust me.. it hurts, still! so i have been talkin to katie off and on for a good month now.. we have gone out before.. and at that point in time it didn't work! well.. i missed her a lot while i was on vacation.. i texted her all the time.. she would text me back.. everything was all fine and awesome. well.. i told her that when i got back i wanted to see her.. and that i had a REALLY long note for her.. and a cd.. and yah. i gett home.. i call.. what is she doing? hanging out with her buddy jeff! now i dunno this guy.. at all.. but i know that she has a past with him.. and its a not so long ago past.. maybe 2 weeks ago when me and katie were on one of our offs. she told me they were just friends or whatever.. and i believed her. well.. little did i know that my buddy brandi happened to be with katie and jeff and zach ((brandi's boyfriend)). well i called brandi to complain about katie.. and i started talking about katie and jeff and brandi put 2 and 2 together and figured out that the katie and jeff i was talking about was the exact same people she was hanging out with tonight. well.. i guess that katie decided to give jeff a little show.. which included her in her bikini on his motorcyle.. just of her in her bikini.. and who could forget.. the pic of her in her bikini wearing his fire hat and jacket or whatever! yah.. so i'm definently kinda pissed off! but whatever.. it's better to find out about it now instead of later.

i'm gonna become the fucking pope! GIRLS SUCK! no offense to my friends.. word!

but i am tired.. and i gotta get back in the school mood.. UGH! senior year ((YAY!)) so i am gonna head to bed.. maybe yell at katie through texts! lol.. later guys!

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 16:45:37 GMT

goin on a short vacation.. just cuz i want to! lol.. but while i am gone i expect LOTS of text messages.. and phone calls! and when i get back i want to see a whole lotta comments left for me!

don't let me be disappointed! :-D

see ya all when i get back.. later!

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 03:52:56 GMT

hmm.. so today i hung out with bridget.. she is moving back to greenfield! HELL YES! that is freakin awesome.. she has been one of my best friends ever since 3rd grade! seriously.. that made my day knowing that.

we went to amanda browns house.. she wasnt home. so then we went to laura breece's house.. and talked to her for a few.. but then we left and went to kevin mcclarnons house and chilled there for a while.. but he was havin a family get together thing so we just kinda left. lol.. made our way over to jessi perkinson's house! which was awesome! i missed her a whole lot! we talked about people.. and that was fun.. and then we went back to bridgets gparents.. and played some boogle and stuff. and then i went home.. called keri and we went into town and chilled for a while.. and then i came home and talked to brooke.. which was fun i guess!

but i gotta get up in the morning and go to the brickyard.. hell yah! i am goin with keri and her family.. but i gotta get up at like 6.. cuz we are leaving at like 6:30.. yuck! i hate morning.. its to.. early! and morning-ful! haha!

so i am gonna get me some shut eye.. cuz that is what the cool kids do at night! lol.. later guys! give me a call tomorrow.. i rpolly wont answer.. but you can listen to greenday and then leave me a message! lol.. seriously.. call me.. its amazing!

outt!

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 03:30:54 GMT

well a lot has happened since i updated last!

i had my bon fire sunday night! it was a lotta fun.. there were a few people over.. jaron and kayla were the most fun though. after everyone else left we just kinda sat around and talked.. but over all the whole night was aweosme! i am thinkin about havin another one before school starts.. that way i can have a shit loda people over and we can just party it up! lol.. it'll be fun. i'm gonna have to talk my grandpa into it though! we'll see!

monday i spent at methodist hospital all day. i got up at 8 and me, kelly, toni leigh, and my grandpa all headed up there. my cousin was havin surgery on her ACL that she tore playin softball. 14 years old.. and she already tore her ACL.. thats crazy! but she is doin good. she cant get outta bed for a while week.. that is gonna suck for her! but yah.. i got home around 6.. and just chilled and did laundry..

today i had my senior pics (( which may explain why i was doing laundry))! it was a fuckin blast! mike mckown is an awesome guy! he is funny.. and talks to you through out the whole session! i didnt feel uncomfortable at all! and he took some really good pictures! it was insane! i cant wait till i get them back! i am gonna get a hell of a lot of them.. cuz they were honestly that good! i get the proofs back on thursday.. so if you wanna see them before anyone else.. let me know! i went swimming at my uncles today too.. it was kinda gross! a flock of geese decided to make the lake there home.. and there were feathers and shit everywhere! but we chased them off.. i know they will come back but they are gone for now.

lets see.. what else.. thursday i am goin to register for school too! i am kinda happy about goin back.. but at the same time i dont want to. this is my last year of high school.. i dunno if that is good or bad. mixed feelings..

but i am gonna get some sleep.. i just got done talkin to the one and only katie davis! she is awesome! good luck with all your problems.. he is fake! be careful babe!

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 17:23:13 GMT

i haven't updated this in a long ass time! i have been hangin out with brooke, cassy, steph, danny, and some other people a lot lately! so i just haven't found the time to get on here and update.

yesterday me and steph went to her grandma's and chilled there and ate some food! lol.. we were actually supposed to meet cassy, brooke, nessa, kenny, and ayaka at caselton mall.. but we got lost and decided that since we didn't have any money that it was a waste of time to even go. so steph's grandparents gave her money for her birthday to get her belly button pierced! so we headed back to greenfield to go to skin scape and met her mom there! steph, being the pansy that she is, got light headed after she got it done.. so i got to drive her car back to cassy's! thats right! I FINALLY GOT TO DRIVE A MUSTANG! that is my dream car people.. and i love them!

so steph and i got to cassy's.. chilled there with cassy's dad and brother.. cuz cassy was still at the mall. then she left to go hang out with danny.. and i headed into town to go see josh and barb.. cuz yesterday was Teresa's b-day! it was kind of a hard day.. but i guess that i dealt with it quite well.

today i woke up late.. i was supposed to go to edienburg outlet mall at like 8 in the morning. well.. that didnt work. i woke up at freakin 10.. and then the shirt that i wanted to wear wasn't clean. i had asked my grandpa to do the laundry yesterday so that i could have that shirt. well.. little did i know.. the shirt i wanted had red on it.. so it couldn't go in with the whites cuz my grandpa bleaches the whites! so of course i was pissed cuz that was the only shirt i wanted to wear.. and because all of my other clothes were dirty so i didnt have anything to wear. so then me and my grandpa got into this huge ass argument.. cuz i thought that it was dumb that the shirt i told him i wanted clean wasnt done.. and how i had nothing to wear.. and how i wasnt gonna be a nasty park bitch and wear dirty clothes. so then he goes into this whole speal about how i am ungrateful.. and how nothing he does is good enough for anyone.. and blah blah blah! i didnt care.. i just sat there and looked at him like he was dumb! so then he said that if i didnt go right then and there that i wasnt gonna be able to get clothes for my senior pictures.. i was like.. i'm not going, bye, have fun! and then i got up.. went downstairs and layed on top of the dryer until my shirt was dry! and now i am up here.. writtin in this.. and listening to my grandpa yell at mikey! haha! i love it when this happens.

i usually get my way with my grandpa.. and mikey and chris don't! like hardly ever.. and me and kelly can get away with just about anything. which is why i get to go to the mall now! even though he said that i wasnt gonna go.. like i said.. i get my way!

speaking of kelly.. he used to be a cool kid. he was the only one of my brothers that i could stand to actually hang out with. haha.. NOT ANYMORE! he started hangin out with mikey all of the time and now he is a little fucking dirty park bitch! thats right.. he hangs out at the park! i mean.. i dunno why anyone does! mikey does because he is 16.. and he likes to hang out with the 30 year old guys and the 10 year old girls that hang out at the parl. cuz his future aspirations are to be a child molestor like all the other nasty fucks at the park! UGHHH.. I FUCKIN HATE THE PARK!

so anyways.. i might be having a bon fire tonight.. possibly! maybe tomorrow if not tonight.. and then i think that i will hang out with some people in town after that. i cant have a lotta people here.. so i will call you if you can come! lol.. or you can call me and ask and i will tell you yes or no. cassy wants to bring her boyfriend.. well.. sorry.. but thats not gonna happen. she thinks that she can invite whoever she wants over to my bon fire.. HELL NO! if she wants to do that then she should have her own.. cuz if she invites one person over here that i dont want over here.. they are leaving and so is she! haha.. i am such a dick!

but i am gonna get offa here.. later guys! call the cell about tonight ((or tomorrow)). i should know for sure in an hour or so!

:\\317-498-6711//:

Sat, 23 Jul 2005 15:44:51 GMT

hmm.. so last night i went to cassy's and helped her clean her brothers room.. we each got 25 bucks outta that! and trust me.. it was well worth it! jake had stuff everywhere in that room.. it was pretty damn gross! after that we drove to kings buffet.. got some money from my grandpa.. i went and picked up amanda.. and then we met cassy and paul at wendy's to eat! we stayed there for a while.. and then i went and got gas.. took amanda home.. came home myself.. and i think that i pretty much went to sleep when i got home.

then i woke up at 2 because my brother was yellin about somethin. turns out that SOMEONE came to my house.. got out of there car.. and decided to put bologna on my car! haha.. you guys are so funny! maybe next time you should try it when the front porch light isnt' on.. that way you wont be seen! but nice try.. really! it would have been funny to wake up to! but nooo.. chris saw.. and chris washed my car.. and my grandpa called the cops.. we know what the vehicle looks like.. so even if we dont know who you are exactly.. we will find out! have a GREAT day! :D

haha! so yah.. i basically went back to sleep.. cuz i didnt care! i mean come on.. bologna.. on my car!? and they think i care about my car.. haha.. yah right! my grandpa would just buy me a new one.. lol!

but just because of that whole ordeal.. i am gonna start parking my car in the garage.. not cuz i want to! becuse the cops asked me to.. why? i dunno.. but i guess i will do it!

but i gotta get in the shower cuz i am goin with cassy to pick up her japanese foreign exchange student! hell yah! i get to meet someone from japan! how cool is that? and then tomorrow i am taking the lovely ashley burton to cassy's for a bon fire! mmm hmmm.. should be fun! only a select few people will be there! you'll be getting a call if you are invited! lol.. later guys!

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 02:44:17 GMT

today was an eventful day..

1st.. i woke up and went out to eat at the country skillet with my grandpa. he called it the "end of summer gym breakfast celebration".. but whatever.. it was good! after that we went and got my grandpa's car washed. and then we headed out to kohls to buy me some new clothes. but i only found 3 shirts that i liked and a new pair of shoes.. so then we left and headed back to the house. on our way back it stormed.. and my gpa wanted to stop at home depot to get some lights for the house.. but then i remembered that my windows were down. so we headed back home to put them up. i got lucky.. i beat the storm! hell yah! so then we came inside and sat down for a few minutes and then decided to go to mckown and make my senior pictures appointment. got there and i had no idea what i wanted. i ended up getting the "safari" package. which means that i have a 2 hour session. i get as many pics as i want.. and then i get a book and pic out the best ones. i can bring friends, my car, pets, as many clothes as i want, pretty much anything i want! so i need to make up my mind and figure out what i wanna do. but my session isnt until august 2nd at 12:30 so i still have a while to decide. we left there.. got back home.. got in my grandpa's van and went to millers jewlery.. ordered my class ring.. i freakin love it! mine is like one of a kind.. i made it.. so.. unique! we left there and went to home depot.. got some lights for the house.. and some paint.. and then i came back home. cassy called.. so i met her at kings buffet and had me some chinese.. which she payed for! hell yah.. cant beat free chinese! lol! then we went back to her house and sat in her room listening to music for a while.. and then we cleaned it.. my side of the room was the best.. and i even got done before her so i got to sit online for a while. then i decided to come home.. and that brings me to right now!

i havent updated like that in a long time! it has always just been parts of my day..

tomorrow i think that i am gonna go to my dads and chill for a while.. and then maybe hang out with some people. if you wanna hang out tomorrow leave me a comment.. or call me.. or text me or something.

but i am gonna get offa here.. i think that i am gonna watch some tv and maybe fall asleep! later guys! outt..

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 14:59:34 GMT

i'm going out to eat breakfast with my grandpa.. why you may ask?! BECAUSE I DONT HAVE TO BE AT FUCKING SCHOOL ANYMORE FOR SUMMER GYM! hell yah!

i would like to inform you that Jessica Simpson is VERY VERY hot! i just watched her "these boots are made for walking" music video.. and DAMMMMMMN! i had no idea she was that hot.. i mean she always looked good.. but not that good! if you havent seen it you should.. i'm serious!

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 07:36:35 GMT

just to let you all know..

i am still alive! i have just been really busy lately. with school.. and i have been reading that damn new harry potter book which i just finished by the way.. and i am very pissed off at the ending! i cant believe that happened.. how in the hell can they have a 7th book now?! damn.. you're just gonna have to read it to understand! i am pissed..

but i am tired.. and tomorrow ((actually today)) is the last day of summer gym.. HELL YAH! but i need to get my sleep.. we are going fishing tomorrow.. at the worst possible place..

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 16:37:07 GMT

so i went to the fair last night.. was havin some fun.. which was suprising! i was hangin out with katie, ashley, kayleena, allan, aaron, and a few other people along the way.

i fuckin hate drama though! i mean, really.. I HATE IT! but you know.. it's whatever! and all that stupid bullshit that happened last night really brought me down. i wish that none of it would have happened.. i wish i never would have went.. i wish that people would just keep there fucking noses outta other peoples business.. and most of all i wish i never would have talked to HER!

so here it goes..

melissa: i dont wanna talk to you anymore. i just don't wanna deal with all that bullshit drama. your boyfriend is overly jealous of every little thing you do. i dont wanna be involved in all that bullshit.. AND I WON'T BE! you're a fun person to hang out with.. but if hanging out with you means dealing with bullshit rumors and lies.. then i am gonna have to not hang out with you. sorry.. thats the way it is.. and will be!

kara: i think that you are really 2 faced.. but whatever.. thats all i really have to say to you. and i wasnt mad at you.. i was pissed that you were being so god damn 2 faced.. and that you called me every 5 seconds! I HATE THAT! obviously, if i wanted to talk to you i woulda answered the 1st time you called..

say goodbye to drama!

and by the way.. i dont think that i am gonna be goin to EH anymore. a few reasons.. my family is moving to decator county after/if we sell our house. we will be living on a lake in a log cabin. also, i can just see how the school year is going to go right now.. and i dont want that. so even if we dont sell our house i think that i am gonna talk to my grandma and see if she will let me use her address so that i can just go to greenfield.. we'll see what happens.

later guys.. i dont really feel like updating anymore.

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 04:52:48 GMT

first, and foremost.. I AM ADDICTED TO FALL OUT BOY! and i dunno if that is a good or bad thing!? good.. because they are an awesome band. but bad.. because i am neglecting my favorite band ever ((hawthorne heights))! oh well.. i guess i can have 2 favorite bands!

umm.. canoing! AHHHHHHHHH! i wanted to kill myself! i went with my 2 cousins ((keri saunders and brittany meece)). me and keri did a great job.. but brittany cant swim and she was scared to death! we ended up flipping not once.. not twice.. BUT THREE DAMN TIMES!!! mostly because of brittany.. the first time just keri fell out. the back of the canoe got caught on a rock and keri fell outta the front. the second time we all fell out! kinda.. keri fell.. i jumnped.. and brittany.. well i dunno what she did.. but she cried! i forget how we fell out that time.. i think we hit a huge ass rock!! it sucked.. took us a while to get brittany back in the canoe.. cuz she is a pansy like that! the third time.. OMG IT FUCKING SUCKED!!! we were doin real good for a while.. we got to these rapids. they were pretty bad too.. and our boat turned sideways.. so me and keri were workin really hard to get it turned back around. we finally got it turned back around.. but it was to late!! we were headed right towards a tree that had fallen down in the middle of the river. we hit the stump and the whole canoe tipped over and cap sized ((filled COMPLETLY up with water)). we all fell out.. brittany cried ((again)).. i would have been carried down the fuckin river but i ran into brittany and was able to get back up.. keri grabbed the lunch box which had our keys, lunch, and some other stuff in it. me and keri had our shoes off which made it almost impossible to get across the river cuz the current was REALLY fucking strong and plus when i fell out i twisted my ankle cuz my foot got caught on a root. i pulled the boat over.. brittany did absolutley nothing but stand there cryin.. and keri carried all the stuff that fell outta the boat. me and reddy turned the boat over to get all the water out... it took us a good 30 minutes the get everything ready to go again. we got everything except we lost my paddle.. so we were stuck with 1 paddle until we found mine washed up on the bank ((thanks to whoever put it there)). the rest of the day went pretty smoothly. except for the fact that we got stuck a lotta times on rocks cuz the water got really shallow. but i had a hell of a lotta fun. brittany got on mine and keris last nerves. i seriously hit her in the head with my paddle about 10 times.. no joke! she wouldn't shut up at all! she pointed out shit 50 feet before we got to it.. and half the time she thought there were rocks where there wasnt any rocks! it was really annoying. she is paying me and keri 20 dollars each for putting up with her that day! oh.. and we all got fuckin fried! its crazy! i am sooooooo burnt!

today we went putt-putting.. and minature golfing at south port putt-putt and rustic gardens. it was fun.. but we all got even more burnt!!! me and michelle ((i spelled her name wrong)) kept putting and then we would run to the shade! haha.. it was fun! michelle is hilliarious.

tomorrow we go to school at 3! HELL YAH! then we play softball at the school till about 5 or 5:30.. and then we are off to the indians game! should be an easy day. we wont be back till 11.. and then i am definently sleeping most of the weekend.

but uh.. i am gonna head to bed.. i can get a lotta sleep tomorrow! later guys!